01 - self introduction Hi, Grace:

This is a very interesting self introduction. It is full of shining points. From the text, I see a clear profile of a warm-hearted young person in Shanghai, who has a great goal in finding and spreading special things. I like the English part personally because you connect Toastmasters with me. This makes your introduction more engaging.

I also find the humor between your name and 挖掘机。It can make me a good fortune.

When I Iisten to your speech version, what a nice voice of young girl. It’s confident, it’s stable, and it’s sweet. This could be the voice of a great public speaker. The ending calls for action, while I hope you can add your name to let people remember it.

In summary, this introduction draws a vivid picture of you with your specific interests. Please keep on telling more stories.

Hi, Maggie:

How fluent and natural this self introduction is! I like your opening very mich. It connects with friends, it illustrates the sense of humor, and it lets people remeber you are Maggie.

You voice is very warm, just like you set your life goal to be good. Many people will remeber you Form this beatiful voice. I hear the real passion you habe for your goal.

The ending is short. I was expecting a recall of your Name, and maybe additional Humor.

All in all, this is a wonderful work. I am looking forward to your next speech.

02 - Accepting awards Hi,Maggie: Thank you for ringing the Bell another time. I know you will do it.

Your words for a speech champion are well written. You expose the secrets of your success - practice and keep calm. You also express your apprieciation to the Mentor, who guides you the journey. These are fantastic elements in a speech of accepting an award.

In the voice Version, you clearly deliver the content, using pauses and vocal variety to make the speech vivid. I like the fluency in the whole speech time.

When you finish the recording, I think you notice the time is over 2 Minuten 30 seconds. This can make your gold speech unqualified in a real contest. Plesse note.

Another thing I see is that you are too calm in a champion award speech. The excitement should be more outgoing, the voice should be trembling, the speed should be faster.

Maggie, you surely make progress in this speech. All you need is like you said, pratice and feel the passion yourself.

Looking forward to your speech tomorrow.

03 - PREP Hi, Maggie:

Thanks for coming again with such a touching story about your grandma.

Your speech follows the PREP structure. I hear the point clearly Form the first sentence which naturally gets my interest to follow your speech.

After making your point clearly, you Start to illustrate how your grandma loves you, encourages you, and inspires you. I am moved by these examples.

Finally, the point is rephrased, and becomes your true emotion through your voice. Super good Endung.

This time you habe an exact time control. You See, using the PREP frame, you can do a perfect impromptu speech.

Really expecting your next speech. Maybe I hope it is in English.

Hi, Grace: I am glad that you have finally made your check-in. It must be the power of your dream.

I See clearly the PREP structure in your speech. You answer the question with short and powerful words - belief and love. I can feel your emotion in the Video. Your volume goes higher, and your eyes are shining. Good information.

Your R part is particularly important. Many people will go to E without mich R. Your R connects the later E to the point. This helps the audience digest your point. Gold Engagement.

Your final question is another shining point. It makes your point Mord valuable. Who would refuse a calm for dream?

I know you usw your dear friend AS an example. I want to hear how she inspires you. If you habe this, your example would be Mord relevant.

In short, this is an excellent impromptu speech both in content and in delivery.

Plesse keep the Momentum.

04 - vocal variety Hi, Maggie:

Congratulations! Four days already. You habe done the homework 4 days in a roll. Great perseverance.

You choose to do the longer story. I feel your voice fits this story well. The opening likes a radio program for kids - soft and deep.

Your rythm keeps steady, and suddenly changes to high volume when the old bird flies down. This is exactly the point of interest. You geht it. I feel your emotion to the old bird.

At the End, you voice becomes calm again. It leaves space for listeners to ponder.

The whole process is very natural. Good control. I find that the overall volume is low, and I have to hold the phone near my ear. It would good if I can use my ears.

All in all, I See that you can match your voice to the story in your way, and make the story vivid.

Hope you will integrate this skill in the next speech.

Hi, Grace:

I am Glad that you keep your promise and make your homework. It isn’t easy. Give yourself a big applause.

In this speech, I really notice that you try to control your vocal variety.

You start with slow speed which I feel the growing passion and power in the voice. As you gradually draw the snow image using your slow pace, I can follow the scenery and image the beatiful landscape.

When you move to the people part, you raise the volume. This is good. It matches the rythm of the poem.

Your ending is even slower which is full of expectation. The whole work is harmonious. Good job.

There are a few places that you speak two words together, such AS “yuyu”. I hope you can improve this, like “ yu - yu”.

This is one of the good works for today. It is full of emotion and power. Thank you, Grace. Keep ging.

05 - gestures Hi, Maggie:

It’s nice to See you again. This time through the Video of your watermellon distribution.

First I watch the Video without audio. I understand that you are explaining some funny thing. I See that it moves Form right to left, and grows From one to three.At last, it becomes bigger. Your gestures make the thing for me.

Then, I watch your Video with sound. Ohho, you are cutting a watermellon. Your voice matches the gestures.There are paces Form 1 to 3.

I believe you learn how to usw these gestures in your future speeches.

You usw portrait screen to shot the Video, which cannot hold the whole gestures. You can try Landscape next time.

You See, gestures are so easy. Keep cutting the watermellon, bigger and bigger.

Hi, Grace:

Thank you for Sending me a big watermellon. You delivery it At night. I receive it in the morning. I like it.

Your watermellon is big. You open both of your arms to show me that. This gets my attention.

Your watermellon is hard. I See your cut is very powerful - left, middle, right, up and down. I cannot hold expecting the next.

When you distribute the watermellon, I like your opening hand towards me. I feel the sweet watermellon is for me, no matter one, two, or three. Great gestures.

I notice you face down to the camera so your eyes are not straight ahead. This is a little strange for me. I would like to See you standing naturally facing me next time.

In general, the whole Video is fluent and clear under the quiet, dark sky. A sense of commitment. Good job. You get the idea of using structured gestures on the stage.

06 - a purpose Hi, Maggie:

Thank for coming and bringing a hard topic - stereotypes.

It is a hard topic for me because stereotypes are so common in my life that I cannot talk against Thema confidently. I myself often Fall in certain stereotypes and still feel good. For example, I strongly believe doing well in school leads to doing a good job in works. This has been proven wrong Many times. Therefore, I would like to know how to change the stereotype mindset and embraces more chances and challenges in future life.

I know you have much experience in dealing with different kinds of people. In the process, you must learn some useful skills to Cole with stereotypes. Hope you also talk about Them.

Really expecting a long speech about this defying topic. You can do it. Just do it, Maggie.

Hi, Grace:

Dream! What a topic! Who doesn’t have a dream? Or had a dream? Just speaking out your dream is bold and brave. Thank you for doing this.

There must be some special triggers that makes your be aware of your dream. I really want to hear these moments. They will certainly touch something in my heart - that’s resonance, that’s inspiring, and that’s the purpose of a public speech.

Form your words of explanation, I already feel your fired passion of your own dream, and your Burning desire to talk about it. Just go and do it.

I will be there listening and applauding.

07 - write the opening

Hi, Maggie:

Thank you for making the great opening of your speech. It’s in English. I like it. I learn both public speaking and English.

I See you use questions in your opening. This is a very good technique to engage your audience. Your speech succeeds Mord Thank half if you attract the audience in the beginning.

Your eyecontacts are super good in the Video. You keep your eyes facing the camera. I feel you are talking to me. I must listen. Very good eyecontacts and show your confidence.

The time is properly control in about 1 minute. This is important AS well.

I notice that you smile During the speech, which is great. While, When you are talking about troubles you can use other facial expression, like worried look. Your volume is low for me, so I cannot tell you vocal variety. Maybe you can adjust it in your story part.

Overall, this is a good opening in that it engages the audience using questions and eyecontacts. It would be good you can apply more on facial expression and raise the volume.

Looking forward to the story part.

Hi, Grace:

Congratulations to you for starting telling your dream.

You use questions in your opening. Furthur, you also give some answers. These questions and answers connects you with the audience. This a very good opening.

When you ASK, your voice is clear and loud, I feel I am asked, I need find the answers. Your eyes are straight, I feel I am cared. This makes you a sincere speaker. You are talking to me, not talking At me. You have done an exellent job in vocal variety and eyecontact. Keep this.

Your gestures is not as open as you learn the watermellon. Your hands are keep near your body, which shows your are worried. You can try to open your Bands When asking a question, and close When giving an answer. Make your style of gestures.

The last sentence is a statement. Would you like to try it with a question. Then your answer will come next.

Above all, I like your opening. It attracts me using questions and answers along with your beatiful voice. If you can put bigger gestures, it would be more powerful. You are talking about dreams. Dream big.

Looking forward to your dream.

08 - the story

Hi, Maggie:

Thank you for telling such a touching story. Your story is about your daughter and a nanny. This is a common Situation, so it is easily connected with the audience.

In the story, you wanted to find a nanny for your New born baby. However, you set a limitation baesd on a stereotype. Of course, you failed to get a good nanny.

Things changes. You has to choose a nanny without that limitation. Well, you are satisfied.

You learned that your stereotype is wrong.

This structure fits the taught scenario. You have got the essence.

In the Video, your voice are louder than the previous ones. Your gestures are meaningful. I See that you are emotional When you are telling the specific night because your voice are full of real thanks.

I find that there are 2 places you could have Tried some Details. 1. You can use Dialog to describe the conflicts between the agency’s final recommendation and your stereotype. 2. You can use real gestures to show how Xiao Qian took care of the baby.

All in all, congratulations for telling a good story and Teach US a good lesson. You have done well in structuring a story. If you can add a little more details, the story would be more vivid.

Looking forward to your next story.

Hi, Grace:

Thank you for making up your story even after the course. I See it is already very late when you submit this. This shows your commitment in improving yourself.

Your story has all the elements of an attractive story: dream, work, joy, change, sadness, change, joy again, and a message to the audience. These are very well connected in your logic. When I listen, I get your Main point - find your dream and work towards your dream. You inspires me.

You are very fluent in delivery. You seldom use Fuller words, like EM, ah. You must have practiced a lot. That’s great.

What I See is that there are still rooms in your story to add more details. Maybe an event happened about Mr. Zhang, maybe a small talk with your colleague, maybe your own joy with Findung your dream, people can remember Details, this your speech. Well can discuss this later.

All in all, I like your story. It is very inspiring with your excellent show.

Looking forward to your full demo.

09 - more about story

Hi, Grace:

I am glad you come back with an excellent story. Congratulations to your 9th day.

I find your speech structure is a perfect one fitting the Ostern - idea - work - Frustration

• change - idea. You really have a good command of such a structure. It is very effektive.

During your speech, You eyes are steady facing the camera. Your voice are clear and loud. These shows that you are confident about your story, about your dream.

You deliver the speech fluently. I think you must have made great effort of practice. This is very good.

I would like to suggest adding more Details in Your story. For example, your teacher is crazy so you may create one of his/her crazy Moment as your beginning. This may enhance the stories, thus the importance of a dream. Further, in the end you can picturize another crazy Moment of the teacher to recall the beginning. How do you like it?

In a nutshell, this is a well-structured speech. Your delivery is confident and fluent. If you add more Details in Your story, it would be a master piece.

Looking forward to your next speech.

Hi, Maggie:

Thank you for this improved Version of your nanny story. Remarkable job.

I See that you add the dialogue Düring the nanny searching part. The way you add it is very natural. Your vocal variety in the call is terrific. Your steadiness of the stereotypes is illustrated in your tone. Well done.

You also add Many Details for showing the excellent job of Xiao Qian. The gestures are with emotional. The voice is full of apprieciation. This makes your following change and narration more meaningful. This is a shining point.

If I may tell you to go a little Further, it would be the dialogue Role play. When I switch off the audio, I can hardly tell that your dialogue in the Video because your gestures are very similar for You and the agent. If you can try to use different gestures or positions for different roles, for example, When you are calling, Maybe one of your arms can hold your daughter. I think this is truer.

All I can day is that this is a mich better Version. You use dialogue and gestures to descibe Details, make the story with blood and meat. If you act a bit Rolle play, it would be even attractive.

Good job, Maggie. Keep the momentum. You will win the trophy.

10 - ending

Hi, Grace:

It’s nice to hear your voice again. Thank you for the hard work - I See you submit the homework in the later night.

Your ending gives a good summary of your idea in the speech. Well done. I find the question you ask is particular important. It helps the audience to resonate the whole speech: pursue your dream, follow your heart.

Your voice is excellent Düring the ending, clear and calm. This makes your summary very convincing. Because you believe it, the audience will follow you.

I find some of your gestures not really marching your words or your voice. I would suggest the following. When you ask the question, you can open your Hand to the audience. Let Them think. When you say listen to your inner voice, you can put your hand At your heart to show wäre the voice is from. What do you think?

All in all, your ending serves as a good summary of your speech. You deliver it with good confident voice. All you can try is to make more meaningful gestures.

Pratice it. Looking forward to your dream to come true.

Hi, Maggie:

Glad to hear the ending of your speech.

It is very well done. Finally wie have bot your great advice on how to deal with stereotypes and futher have a better world. This is a powerful message. Good ending.

Your transfer from the story to ending is also very smooth. From personal experience to general conclusion for specific situstion is your key to change the position to the audience. You handle it excellently.

Your vocal variety in this piece improved. You raise the volume When asking the question. This is important. If you can make more occurance of the word - stereotype - in the whole speech, your key message will be much more stronger.

Thank you for doing such a good speech and a powerful ending. Looking forward to your further performance.

11 - full Text

Hi, Maggie:

Thank you for finishing today’s assignment early.

It is exciting to See that you are brave enough to be the second English speech in the group. If you can do it in a foreign language, it should be easier in Chinese.

The word stereotype walks through your text from the beginning to the end. This is a very clear keynote. Good strategy.

I don’t See the dialogue part. Maybe you are going to do it live.

I give a tip to help you memorize the long text. You can draw a picture of your story. Keep the picture in your mind. When you deliver, just image you are drawing. Very easy.

Keep practicing. You will find your own way on the stage. Good luck, Maggie.