Dear Fellow members, Distinguished guests,

Good morning.

A question to the members:

Do you know Pathways? (ok, most of you do.)

How many of you have done Pathways level-2? (good)

In Pathways level-2, we will determine how to improve our relationships by mastering and adapting our communication styles and tailor our message to match situational expectations.

This is an important project, and I feel it is hard: even if I know my communication style is supportive, I am still not sure how to explore it properly.

Dear audience, how you ever felt that when you regard some information as important, you will expect that anyone exposed to that information will fully absorb it?

When you told your friends Toastmasters are good, Yu-Life club is nice. And invited them to come, but they didn’t show up. This shows the reality: while learning how to communicate well is hard, actually getting anyone to listen is much harder.

Since mobile phones and social media all this has got many times harder because attention spans are shorter. I find that there is higher expectation that communication should start from being nice.

To be nice is to respect. I didn’t realize this until I have a kid. Talking to little kids can be frustrating sometimes - they just wouldn’t listen. When we stood straightly and talk to our son, he would not follow; if we lowered our body and kept the same height as our kid, no matter what we want to communicate, he started to listen and response. There is no need to raise our voice and yell around. Being nice and respecting makes my life easier.

Even if we are on the weak side, being nice can also win us respect. Living in a metropolis like Shanghai, we all cross the streets many times a day. What would you do before you cross the street? (very good) When I am crossing the stree and a car stopped and waited, I will give the driver a thumb-up to show my respect to her nice behavior. I think both of us will feel happy for the day. Don’t you agree? Being nice makes my life happier.

To be nice is to be positive. We all want a relaxed, no-tension environment. But sometime there is a conflict and there can be opinions I disagree. To be nice is particularly necessary in these situations. For example, in our meetings, an evaluator may use some strong words on my speech, I may feel insulted. But I should still give my apprieciation. Anyway, the evaluator is another human being, just like myself. She just intended to help me regardless which word she uses in her evaluation. We all need forgive and improve. If we can share skills, knowledge and interests through ongoing conversation, we are fine. Being nice and positive helps build a friendly community.

All in all, whether your communication style is supportive as mine, or direcct, or initiating, or analytical, you can always start you communication from

Being nice!

Thank you.